I find it hard to describe how I am feeling, I think it’s because I am feeling lots of emotions at once and I can’t pin point them into one word! I guess the best way to describe how I feel today is blah!
I am fighting another cold, lucky me the kids like to share their germs! There is so much I want to do in regards to my little business I feel my creative juices are just waiting to explode. But I just can't find the time or the energy to do anything about it. I feel so frustrated! Why did I chose to have so many children. If I had less I would have more time to myself. Please don’t hate me for saying that, I do love all my children. I feel like everything is out of balance, It’s so hard to juggle being a wife, mother and a home business owner all at once!
My confidence and self-worth is taking a beating! I constantly second guess myself, and feel like I am worth nothing. I hate the way I look; I am the fattest I have ever been. My hair is turning grey and my glasses hide my small eyes. I really do look as old as I feel, and I am only 32! I am so moody, my husband doesn’t know whether to hug me or give me space. I was crying this morning, and I can’t even tell you why.
I think what I need is a holiday some time away to reflect and recharge but we can’t afford it right now. I might try taking a week off and closing my store. It will be one less thing to balance, while the children are on school holidays.