I find it hard to describe how I am feeling, I think it’s because I am feeling lots of emotions at once and I can’t pin point them into one word! I guess the best way to describe how I feel today is blah!
I am fighting another cold, lucky me the kids like to share their germs! There is so much I want to do in regards to my little business I feel my creative juices are just waiting to explode. But I just can't find the time or the energy to do anything about it. I feel so frustrated! Why did I chose to have so many children. If I had less I would have more time to myself. Please don’t hate me for saying that, I do love all my children. I feel like everything is out of balance, It’s so hard to juggle being a wife, mother and a home business owner all at once!
My confidence and self-worth is taking a beating! I constantly second guess myself, and feel like I am worth nothing. I hate the way I look; I am the fattest I have ever been. My hair is turning grey and my glasses hide my small eyes. I really do look as old as I feel, and I am only 32! I am so moody, my husband doesn’t know whether to hug me or give me space. I was crying this morning, and I can’t even tell you why.
I think what I need is a holiday some time away to reflect and recharge but we can’t afford it right now. I might try taking a week off and closing my store. It will be one less thing to balance, while the children are on school holidays.
8 comments:
Did I write this? OMG! I don't wear glasses, I only have 2 kids and I'm 34 but those 3 facts aside, I could easily've been the author. I'm feeling quite good today though and hopefully by the time you get to read this, you're feeling good too. You spook me a little 'cos we could so easily be mistaken for sisters.... I wonder if we're related along the line somewhere? Anyway, do something that you want to do, just 'cos YOU want to do it. :)
Elecat, thank you honey! I imagine that a lot of mums have hours, days, weeks and maybe even months feeling like this. I must admit that once I wrote it all down and got it of my chest I felt so much better! Maybe we are related, how cool would that be :)
Hi Kelly, this is soo relatable. I hope you're having a better day today, sounds like you must be after your eclipse outing! I too seem to have lost all balance, no choice as a mum but to keep at it till it flows again. Exhausting! Hope you find some space and enjoyment these school hols. Take care!
It's been a nice relaxing weekend, just what I needed to cheer me up. The balance thing is a work in process, one day I hope to get it right. I have taken a week off orders through my website so I can enjoy school holidays with my children instead of fighting to get work done.
hi Kelly, I noticed your avatar & wanted to pop by & say hi.
ohh, I think you have described how most mums feel most of the time. I have more blah moments than shiny ones but I do try & appreciate the hard work that goes into being a mum & realising that we are all human & it's normal to feel like this.
hope you are having a great start to the week so far.
hugs ♥
Hi Cathie, thank you for popping in I love your blog is beautiful!
Oh that 'blah' feeling - I recognise it well! Here's hoping that it's well and truly passed by now. Thanks for rewinding at the Fibro!
I know from reading your blog regularly that you've moved on a lot from the 'blah' feeling. I think it's a feeling that creeps up on all of us from time to time. When things start to STAY blah, though, you should look to have a chat to someone... the black dog springs from nowhere, my friend. x
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