It was so hard to get out of bed this morning, I had such a stressful day yesterday. I didn't want to face another day like that. Sometimes motherhood is the world greatest thing, and other times I want to hide under the covers and come out when they are all grown up!
I feel it was easier to look after them when they were babies, then it is now that they are kids. Babyhood was awesome and I miss those days...sure I had no sleep, not a moment to myself and didn't get out of my pajama's some days. But I knew what to do, I really felt all that unconditional love. The bond between my children and I was so strong. I loved breastfeeding, and didn't really mind those days where I would get nothing done. I even loved co-sleeping with all my babies when they were small.
But now I lack confidence, no idea what I am doing. I hate handing out discipline, and know it must be done. Removing a toy, no TV or iPod! I don't like smacking. Some days it feels like scream and shout all day long and when they are all finally in bed I am upset and angry with myself.
I wonder if there is a easy way, a solution, a special way to parent, or even a book to read? What's happening right now really isn't working. I will drive myself crazy with all this guilt!
I just want a happy home - with happy children
