Am I smart enough?

I don’t feel like I am smart enough to blog! There is some really cool blogs out there and the writing is heartfelt and meaningful. I sit back in my seat and wipe the tears from my eyes and wonder if I belong in the blogging world. I want to belong, so badly. I just don’t always know how to express myself in words.

You see, I had learning difficulties as a child. I struggled with everything at school, and couldn’t read a word at all until I was 8 years old. I knew all the special classes, and special teachers made be stand out and I hated them for it. I was constantly teases by other kids, had my lunch money stolen numerous times, and cried every day. I didn’t like being different and longed to be like everyone else. All the stress didn’t help my asthma and I was in hospital lots and missed a lot of school. I had to repeat prep, which didn’t help me at all.

I left school at 16, didn’t even complete the year. I got a job at Big W as a checkout chick. From there I have worked at McDonalds, Bunning’s Warehouse and Red Roster. (I did go back to school and completed adult VCE, but that’s a story for another day). I have never had a job I have been proud of until I started my own business.

I have gained more confidence as I get older. Having a supportive husband changed me a lot. But my early experiences still haunt me today. So please excuse me if I spell things wrong, or don’t write them correctly and if I sound dumb. I am still finding my place in this lovely online world.

Seven Years of Phoenix

Song: Watch you Sleeping by Blue Foundation

Happy Birthday my little mate, mummy loves you so much!

this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. SouleMama

Letter to Phoenix: Almost Seven

I am inspired by fat mum slim and her beautiful letters to her daughter Lacey. Tomorrow is my little guy's 7th Birthday. In honor of this special day this is my letter to him:

Dearest Phoenix,

I can’t believe how fast this pass seven years and gone. It seems like only yesterday I was in hospital giving birth to you. You were born into a room full of love, your daddy and cousin Leeann were there with me. We named you Phoenix because your daddy and I liked the mythology behind the name. The Phoenix is a mythical bird that rises from its own ashes making it immortal. Your middle name, James comes from your mummy’s obsession with Jim Morrison from The Doors.

You were a sweet baby that needed lots of cuddles, and slept in mum and dad’s bed during the night. You loved breast milk and sometimes your mummy felt like she was daisy the cow. You didn’t sleep well in the beginning. Your mummy and daddy were sleep deprived, walking zombies for a while. But you discovered that sleep was wonderful and now you are the best sleeper and usually the first in to fall asleep every night.

When you were 2 years old oh my god, the things you got up to. I was glad your name meant immortal. I couldn’t leave you alone for a second or I would find a whole tin of flour all over the kitchen; raw eggs in the washing machine while it was spinning; outside naked in the mud; the beans out of the bean bag all over your bedroom; in your big sisters room wearing her dresses, you trying to plug anything into power points; and in the fridge you would be eating everything.  We tried all the child-proof locks, but you were too clever and would undo them all.

I like to keep your hair as long as I can get away with it. I can’t help it; it’s the grunge side of your mummy coming out. You are quiet and prefer to play on your own at school. You are very protective of your sisters, as you have shown us a few times at the local playground. You love to build things and pull them apart. You are very curious about machines and how they work. Your kinder teacher said that if you don’t grow up to be an engineer, she would be very surprised. You are smart and think outside the box. Your smile makes me melt; you have such a cheeky laugh.

You are the most amazing little man and I love you with all my heart! I am so lucky and blessed to be your mum!

Feeling Foggy

Having a night out on a Tuesday is messing with my head today. I feel so foggy this morning! It was funny to wake up and see the weather outside matched my feelings. I have never taken a picture of fog before and I was curious to see what it looked like through my camera lens. The purple flower picture is just because they look so pretty in my garden.

I had a great time last night. Usually I find my husband’s work things very boring, but I knew one of the wives Caroline. I haven’t seen her in years. Her husband Richard and Reuben used to work together a few years ago at the same station when Reuben graduated from the police academe. Now Richard is working at the same station again. One of Caroline daughter's started high school this year so we had lots in common to talk about.

Self Portrait {Two}

Skye and I baked brownies this morning for the babysitter tonight. My husband Reuben is taking me out for dinner to one of his police work functions, and my sister is coming to babysit.

You might notice the quality of my pictures might go downhill from now for a little while. I am going full manual on my camera, Yay! For the last 6 months I have been using mostly AV setting, and only changing ISO and Aperture. I feel confident with these settings now, so it’s time to play with shutter speed.

I had to make these pictures of Skye and I black and white today because they looked so grainy, but give me a couple of months and I will master all manual settings! Well I hope so hehehe.

The great art works of Skye

Skye and I are having a tranquil day at home, I am making hair clip orders and she is drawing up a storm. I thought it would be cool, to document some of her great works of art.

  {rainbow caterpillar with glasses}

{mummy in the swiming pool}

 {sad girl}

Skye has been so hungry today this is her eating her third breakfast. I am running out of different things to feed this girl. She might be going through a growth spurt again.

Point & Shoot: Quiet Weekend

My weekend was quiet and wonderful, and made up of: sleep-ins curled up around my husband, bacon & eggs for breakfast, visit from my little sister, blowing bubbles in the park, picture taking with my favourite camera, watching movies on foxtel, reading Linger by Maggie Stiefvater, eating homemade chocolate chip cookies, designing my new blog header, enjoying good beer, glue, felt and ribbons (catching up with hair clip orders), and kisses and cuddles from my family.

How was your weekend? Join in on all the fun at fat mum slim!

Fun with Bubbles!

Not much to do on a cold overcast Saturday morning. My little sister Megan popped in for a visit and my children were restless, and needed some action. So we went for a little drive to the local botanic gardens so the children could blow bubbles. I had purchased scented bubbles yesterday and the whole area smelled divine once the kids got started. Alex had strawberries & cream, Phoenix had lemon & lime, and Skye had chocolate chip. I had forgotten that something so simple like bubbles could be so much fun.

this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. SouleMama

Skye’s Kinder Photos

Skye’s 4 year old kinder photos arrived today!

Self Portrait {One}

I hate pictures of myself! In fact there isn’t many at all. This is because I don’t let my husband or other people take them if I can help it. I was looking at old pictures the other day and I felt sad when I realised there is not many of me, and even worst hardly any of the kids and I together.

So I have decided to take at least one self portrait of myself  or me with my children once a week. It will be tough in the beginning to look at myself in photographs so often. Maybe I will grow to love myself more a little each week by doing this. I am also doing this for my children, so that they will have pictures of their mum to treasure one day when I am gone.

 

Distracted

Since I started my little blog, I have been very distracted! I am constantly thinking of things I could blog about and the photos possibilities. Sometimes it keeps me awake at night, I can’t switch off. I counted how many hours I spent reading lovely blogs yesterday and was it’s quite scary.

Lately I keep complaining that I have no time to make new products for my store, and my husband looks at me and laughs, and says “maybe you should stop blogging”. But it’s become a big part of life, and I enjoy it so much. I could never stop now I have entered this special world. It’s my me time. But I am having too much me time at the moment.

I need to set myself some daily time limits. So that I can I focus on getting’s things done again. Does anyone else have this problem? Or am I the only time wasting obsessed blog writer and reader?

Point & Shoot: Skye

I have cheated a little this photo was actually taken on friday afternoon, I didn't take my camera out of the bag at all this weekend. But to me friday afternoon is the start of my weekend, so I think I can get away with it. I would hate to miss out on the fun of point and shoot at fat mum slims!

a little bit about me

My favourite colour has always been purple, but I think I am secretly in love with blue!

I wear my black and white converse shoes everywhere!

Ever since I can remember, I have a huge fascination with death. And I love cemeteries. 

Love going to concerts to see live bands!

I am a jeans, and t-shirt kind of girl, but I also like to dress up when I go out somewhere special!

I have a loving and supportive husband, I'd be lost without him. We have been married for 2 1/2 years, but we have been together for 13 1/2 years!

New Years Eve, is my favourite celebration of all, every year we get together with our group of friends and have a big dress-up party. Last years theme was uniforms; I was a drunken sailor hehe!

I am obessed with the Twilight books, I love Edward!

I love taking photos, but I hate looking at pictures of myself. This post makes me cringe, but it has to be done!

I am shy when I meet new people, and hardly speak a word!

I have been a bridesmaid twice, for two of my best friends; Shona and then Sammy!

I was named after my grandad Hugh Kelly, who is acually my uncle. My mother's parents died when she was young and her older sister Matilda along with her husband helped to raise her.

I became a mum 10 days after my 20th birthday

I love music, but I am fussy and don't usually like main stream stuff.  My favorite band is The Doors and my favorite singer is Tori Amos

I was born in the small country town of Numerkah. I lived in a house that my father built until I was 10 and moved closer to Melbourne because dad wanted to give us a better future.

this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. SouleMama

Mini Masterchefs

The smells coming out our house these last few weeks have been incredible. School holidays = lots of baking! Alex, Phoenix and Skye have very been busy in the kitchen over the last three weeks making brownies, cupcakes of all types of favours with different coloured icings, and chocolate cakes for daddy (they are his favourite). I think I have put on lots of kilos over this short period. The kids have had so much fun, and it lovely to see work as a team to create something yummy for the whole family to enjoy.

New Name - Messy Freckle

I have been reading and enjoying other peoples blogs for 18 months now. I have discovered some fascinating people out there, living amazing lives. A couple of months ago I bit the bullet and decided I would started my own blog. I didn’t know where I would go with it. I liked to idea of sharing photos I took, and sharing things that others do that inspired me. I was afraid to write and share the real me with the world in case I was rejected.

I have written a couple of posts being honest about my feelings and the world didn't end, and no-one rejected me. I am now feeling more confident to be just me, bags under my eyes and all!

Today is a new beginning, and a new blog name “Messy Freckle”. My life is messy, and freckled with good and bad. I don’t feel afraid to be myself on my blog anymore.

Dreamy

I love this picture I took yesterday at sunset of my beautiful daughter Alex!

Almost over...

School holidays are almost over. Skye goes back to kinder this afternoon, and Alex and Phoenix back to school next week. I can almost feel it in the air, the house will be back to normal soon.

It has been a stressful 2 ½ weeks. I have been trying so hard to keep up with my home business and keep three children entertained. I feel like I have been unsuccessful at both.

With my business I have kept up with orders so that no-one has waited more than normal for orders to be handmade and posted. But I haven’t managed to do much else, like order more stock (57 items sold out at the moment), and list new items. The children are bored and restless, and seem fight with each other all day long. My nerves are fried, and I am such a grumpy mummy. I wish I could do more with them these holidays but I have a business to run and I don’t have the time to take them anywhere.

Relief is at hand, everything should be back to normal next week.

Flowers for Tuesday

I have a gorgeous bunch of native flowers sitting in a vase of my table, they smell like the great outdoors and look so pretty. I thought I'd share some pictures I took of them with you today.

Point & Shoot: Weekend Fun

I had the best weekend! It started with my parents wedding anniversary dinner at our house on Saturday. All Saturday I was busy cleaning and cooking and then celebrating with drinking and eating. Read more about Saturday “here”. Sunday my gorgeous cousin’s Sarah, Lee and Garry (lee’s husband) came over after lunch. We eat the leftover food from Saturday, plus I made the most divine chocolate self saucing pudding to eat with ice-cream too. The boy’s watched football on TV and the girls played cards all afternoon. It has been years since I have sat down and played a game of cards, we laughed all afternoon. I forgot how much fun it could be. My children just ran around eating, playing and annoying everyone (see picture above of my Son Phoenix with his Giant Fredo Frog)

Joining in the fun at fat mum slim with point and shoot this Monday.

Mum & Dad’s Anniversary

some of the pictures a little blurry, I don't know what the correct settings are for night-time photography on my camera yet...

Today is my parent’s (Denis and Marion) 34th wedding anniversary. It is quite an achievement in this day and age to be married to the same person for so long. We had them over for dinner and cooked lamb roast (we rock the lamb roast by the way). It was delicious! And Alex and I made cupcakes with white chocolate icing and little flags saying “Happy Anniversary”. Because my parents are Jehovah witnesses their wedding anniversary is a big celebration. It is almost like Christmas in July, and everyone gets presents. Alex received an iPod, Phoenix received a remote control car, Skye received a zhu zhu pet. Reuben and I got a gold class voucher, and I can’t wait to use it.

Well I'm off to watch "Blade Runner" with my husband and to drink more wine, I love saturdays!

this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. SouleMama